Love Mumbo Jumbo Essays (829 words) - Sexual Fidelity,

Marlon Josephs Professor Ehtesham-Zadeh ENGL 1101: Composition Rhetoric 13 October 2018 The Right to Love Why do we assume women cheat due to loneliness and a desire for affection? Why do we surmise men cheat because of boredom and lust for intimacy? Half of the marriages, in America, end in divorce. (Francoeur 72) Statistically, the frequency of infidelity has risen fifty percent since 1970. If happy, contented people become unfaithful what drives us to do so? Most Americans believe infidelity occurs because of strained relationships and personal shortcomings. Society world, religions, and cultural institutions have maintained that humanity evolved in families. Scientifically, human beings are not at all monogamous. We know this intellectually, but on an emotional level, we seem to be hardwired for denial. Human nature's promiscuous past worsens struggles over monogamy, relationships, and family dynamics. Human nature cherishes love , sex , and affection but struggles with continuing commitment. Fantasizing about people other than our partner romantically and sexually is common. A consensual non-monogamous relationship is appropriate for some people. The two main criticisms toward non-monogamy are that the relationships do not work in practice and that non-monogamy will destroy relationships. We're going to overlook religious objections, since religion is mainly a matter of opinion and cannot be argued against readily. The argument that non-monogamy does not work in practice is put forth by monogamists who most likely do not understand how having multiple partners could work or are not interested in putting forth the effort to make it work. I believe this contention is based on confirmation bias. To truly determine whether non-monogamous relationships have a higher rate of failure than monogamous relationships we would need the ability to study these relationships properly. Unfortunately, the combination of researchers not understanding polyamory completely and polyamorists not wanting to expose themselves to scrutiny by the public makes it a challenge to run studies and get accurate results. The second argument that non-monogamy will destroy relationships is concerned with the concept of pair-bonding. Opponents to non-monogamy feel that having multiple relationships will make it difficult to maintain or achieve pair-bonding the strong connection between two people often found between mother and child or husband and wife. The fear is bonding partners will be more willing to leave their current relationship for another intimate relationship. (Ferrer) 56. In my opinion, this does not make sense when you consider how common this is in monogamy. Partners in a relationship commonly find another intimate connection and leave their original partner. Would it not be less likely to destroy relationships if the partner did not have to leave their current relationship to form a second relationship. We need to examine the foundation of a polyamorous lifestyle. That requires confronting the erroneous presumptions that relationships consisting of more than one partner involve one man and his harem of women. That is an understandable stereotype that's heavily ingrained in our society , because these types of dynamics have been encouraged by numerous religious groups and previous civilizations. Today's polyamory movement doesn't believe this notion. Some argue polyamory's rise is because of the feminist revolution: as women gained financial and social independence, they could choose their relationships. Today gender equality is a central value of the polyamorous community, and the makeup of connections is determined not by sexual desire but by individual preferences. Middle-class culture has changed drastically. People are not marrying anymore for survival . Dossie Easton, co-author of The Ethical Slut conveys people are not marrying anymore more for survival. 'Our kids won't starve if we get divorced. Today we have marriages and relationships for wildly different reasons than our ancestors did. We're doing it for emotional gratification.'' (Newitz 4) It has been shown that humans are neither strictly monogamous nor strictly non-monogamous; like many things in life, sexuality is a spectrum with some people at either extreme, but most people reside somewhere in the middle. The only constant is change. Society is changing, as is the way we form relationships. Inter-racial marriage and same-sex marriage have become relatively common and acceptable. These changes reflect how people prefer what is best suited for them, and their community rather than what society pressure them to do.